Exactly one year ago today (or rather last night, because it is currently 1:06 am, but you get the idea) Randy and I were on our way home from a very delightful afternoon/evening at the coast. 

And he had just asked me to marry him.

   On the long, winding trip back we were calling family and friends, trying to shout out the good news in spite of the spotty reception, and plunging head-first into the planning stage.  There was so much to do!  A date to set, a dress to look for, colors to choose, photographers to book and music to plan.  Not to mention the hundreds of other decisions to make.  But we didn't even care.  We weren't going to let the "wedding stress bug" bite, because we were blissfully in love, and maybe a tad naieve.  I am happy to say that for the most part, I think we managed to pull off a wedding without any major casualties.  Maybe my mom would beg to differ, but I think we all came out on the other side in one piece.   I just hope other people were able to enjoy our day, because I know it was certainly the best day of my life.

   The point is, I can hardly believe a year has gone by.  I mean, in a way, it feels like eons longer than a year, but in a way, it feels like that just happened yesterday.  That we were standing there on the sand watching the fog roll in over the ocean waves, and he got down on one knee, and I simultaneously laughed and cried and said "I thought you'd never ask!!"

   If you, dear reader, are at this stage in life, or even close to where you think your man might propose, take my advice...don't rush it.  Enjoy every moment.  It's a beautiful, precious, once-in-a-lifetime stage, and though you may be anxious to finally get to be a wife and mom, just sit back and take it all in.  Because you're only a fiance for a season, and you're only a blushing bride once!  I loved it.  So completely I loved it, but oh boy do I love where I am now! 

   Making a house a home is SO much fun.  I have just thrived on it.  I love married life.  Snuggle times when we share our hopes and dreams of jobs, houses, babies, hobbies and travel.  Moments when I realize my whole world would completely crumble without him.  Days when we just chill and watch movies and eat popcorn or play a very competitive game of Boggle.  The sacrifices he makes, like giving me a nice backrub or letting me warm my icy toes on his leg.  There are so many.  I am so thankful for the past year God has blessed me with, and the memories it holds. 

I love you, baby. 
I'd say yes again.
I'd say it a thousand times.

    My mom used to always tell me, "Shelley, you're JUST like Anne of Green Gables.  Flying high one minute and in the DEPTHS of despair the next."  And let me tell you, she was NOT giving me a compliment.  She did not appreciate my fluxuating emotions, and I cannot tell you how many times she told me, "You need to learn to be content in whatsoever state you are."  I KNOW she's right, and I KNOW that's Biblical, but how do you translate what your head knows to your heart? 

   I always sort of wondered if something was wrong with me.  I mean, my mom was a woman with feelings and emotions and good days and bad too...why didn't she feel those things?  I think it's just absolutely bizarre when people say they are always "doing great".  Well praise the Lord if you are, but don't praise the Lord if you're lying!  And really, who is seriously, honestly doing wonderful at every moment?  Come on people, let's be real.

   Not that I'm totally depressed or anything.  I'm not.  I have an amazing husband who loves me more than I ever imagined someone would, and makes my life a beautiful story.  I serve a God Who has a plan for me, and takes me on an incredible journey with Him, each and every day.  But all things considered....there are still days that the rain comes, and I didn't get invited to the royal ball, and my lovely characteristics and attributes seem anything but lovely to me and I wonder if I'm doing anything right at all. 

   Does anyone else know a person that seems so incredibly perfect that they practically embody a certain Biblical character that you could only ever aspire of being vaguely linked to?  I know someone like that.  Let me tell you, Satan knows exactly how to get me discouraged, and you'd think his tactics, being mind-numbingly predictable would soon become ineffective.  But they don't.  All he has to do is get me to compare myself with others, and I get discouraged.  It works every time.  Now at least I have learned to recognize it before it really sets in, and rebuke it in Jesus' name, but that doesn't mean it's not a battle I have to face every day.  Dirty rotten trickster.

   Anyway, I need to run to class.  I hope all of you are having a wonderful day, and if you're not, I hope you're honest about it, at least to yourself.

   Last week my sister and I spent 3 days being little domestic wonders and canning up a storm.  It was fun to help her out, I have no idea how she does all that she does!  So tomorrow I have laundry to catch up on that's piled up (with only two of us...how does it DO that?) and some other odds and ends. 

   I am getting very, very ready to see people from home again.  I find myself thinking of them from time to time, wondering how they are doing and then stalking their facebooks to try and catch a glimpse into their daily lives.  I would call, but someone, for some unknown reason, despite my few-and-far-between calls to friends, I keep going over my minutes.  Not sure how that happens, but it's not exactly budget-friendly.

   Last night Randy and I went into town, got a table at the Steelhead Brewery and proceeded to loiter there for the next 3+ hours watching the football game.  And you know, it actually was a lot of fun.:)  We ordered the largest plate of nachos known to mankind, topped with every condiment that's edible with nachos, and pecked away between shouts at the screen and high-fives.  It was a great atmosphere, with other patrons clapping and cheering, and the Ducks won a nailbiter, so it was a great game to watch.  Randy is thankful for a wife with an appreciation for football, and I am thankful that I am learning to have one, because it makes life a lot more enjoyable when you can find interest in your husband's interests.:)

Well I'm off to bed, hope you all had a lovely weekend!  Bring it on, Monday.